Wings and Roots

How many school projects have you “helped” your child with over the years? How many dioramas and posters and reports have you been a part of? I think that we have all been in the position of finding out that a project was “due tomorrow” and joined the mad frenzy to complete it.  There is a fine line between helping your child and doing their work for them - one that is sometimes easy to cross because we want our children to succeed.

Does this same “involvement” find its way to college prep? I have found that, in some cases, it does. Two years ago, when we first started looking at colleges with my son, Michael, college admissions officers used the term “helicopter parents”. I had never heard it before (I think that it refers to parents who “hover” over their kids during the college application process, being too involved and over-controlling things). I thought “oh no- am I one of those parents?” I really tried to evaluate my role in my son’s college application process. I am happy to say that I think that we were not “helicopter” parents (maybe we were “satellite” parents - we kept an eye on the whole thing, but tried not to hover). After numerous college visits, he was the one who decided where he wanted to apply, and which school was his first choice (UPenn - where he applied early decision). He used the online tools at Collegeboard.com to keep track of everything he needed. He brought the forms into the guidance office (alright - maybe I also called the guidance counselor a few times to make sure that everything would get to the admissions office by the application deadline). And most importantly - he wrote his own application essay. When he showed it to us (we proofread it for him), the essay was SO my son’s voice - the voice of an earnest, sincere, intelligent 17 year old kid. It blew us away! When his application was ready to send, we checked it over for him to make sure everything was correct; he sent an application that truly reflected him. I am happy to say that the admissions office at Penn had the same opinion, and he is in his freshman year at Penn.

When our kids go off to college, they will have to rely on themselves to manage their schoolwork (and to a large exent, their lives). They wll need to know that they are capable and competent. The college application process is probably a good time to let them start practicing those skills. Have some faith - they can do it!